Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Help me help you help me


There's a new mascara called "Club Crusher." I think this would have been a great mascara for my early twenties, but what about now? What do we call the mascara for us ladies in our late twenties? Here's a few titles I've thought up:

The "It's hard to go out on Friday nighter"

The "All my friends are getting married, having kids, or moving away-er"

The "Really late 401K starter"

The "The three beer hangover"

The "It's too loud in Hollister"

I should also mention that my mascara would never run or need to be reapplied. It would just stay on there forever or until my eyelashes fall out and I have to get permanent false ones like J-Woww. Hers only come off when she gets punched in the face.

With all the angst and uncertainty we 20 year olds enjoy, it's maybe not surprising that I love self-help literature. Here's a list of the recent reads and old favorites.

1. He's Just Not That Into You and It's Called a Break-Up Cuz It's Broken by Greg Behrendt. I know, I  know. Cliche, right? Why don't I just dig into a tub of Ben and Jerry's and pop in a Sex and the City Marathon. Because I don't own the box set and I'm trying to stay fit for the wedding, otherwise don't think I wouldn't. Anyway, you need these books in your life to survive the dating world. They were pretty much my bibles. You can't have two bibles, you? Well, they were like the Old and New Testament then.

2. The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman: I should let you all know that I read a lot of books on relationships, but not because my fiance and I don't get along. On the contrary, I believe in learning more about communicating while things are going well, so that you can prevent conflict and feel closer to your partner.

2. Communication Miracles for Couples by Jonathan Robinson. See above.

3.  The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. See my previous blogs

4. Decisions, Decisions by Dr. Randy Green.

5.  Magical Relationships by Ariel and Shya Kane.

Most of these I have read to improve my decision making and communication skills, with varying degrees of success. What I found interesting, was that a lot of these books came back to the idea of mindfulness. We can only make decisions when we are at a state of readiness. Annoying habits do not bother us when we do not judge these habits as good or bad. I noticed how helpful mindfulness was when I was working on my happiness project, but I find it ridiculously hard to keep up.  Why stay in the present when in my day dreams I'm a broadway star with six pack abs  who never spills food on herself when she eats? Too often, our dreams turn to worries. Or imaginary fights that never happened or will happen, but we have them in our heads that way we'll have the perfect comeback when the sociology teacher doesn't want to give us credit for our last community college class.

So, mindfulness. That's the goal. Listening, feeling, seeing, and experiencing each moment instead of dreaming about Huey Lewis and the News playing at our wedding or what I should have said to susie what's-her-face in fifth grade when she threw me in the mud.

"“Do not ruin today with mourning tomorrow.”- Catherynne M. Valente, The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making

Photo by http://www.loudoun.k12.va.us/roundhill

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