I imagine there must be some of you out there who are thinking, "What could possibly be so exhausting and complicated about this girl's life? She doesn't have kids yet, she's got her health, and all she has to worry about is work and school." I'll say this, you are correct. By all accounts, I should be waking up as Susy McSunshine, ready to lead the marching band down Main St. Therefore, to get us all on the same page, I would like to tell a most lamentous tale, of a girl who graduated with a BA, only to return to the tragic world of academia at Community College.
The school did not allow new students to enroll online, because we are living in the medieval times (where's my liter of diet coke, wench?), so I stood in line for a couple of hours to get into the class. When I received my receipt for the class, I noted that they had overcharged me by $700. They overcharged an ACTOR $700. After several unanswered phone calls, I went to the college in person. They said that they had charged me the non-resident fee and that I would have to return with my lease. I came back the next day, and they said that would not be enough, I would have to return with my lease AND a bill. I returned the next day, and they printed a receipt saying they refunded the $700. I checked my bank account--no such money. I called, and they said they were sending a check. No such check. I went back to the school and they said they had no record of a refund and no record of my residency. I asked to speak to the manager (or whatever the community college admin equivalent is) They sent me to another office. I showed my refund receipt, printed on the college letterhead, and they said they had no record of the transaction in the computer. Finally, I raised my voice and demanded to speak to the top-guy, whoever that was. A woman came out with a post-it. "Write your name and address on here." and then turning to the administrator. "Send her a check."
I have learned that all official financial transactions should involve the f-bomb and a post-it note.
I am enrolled in a two-year program, and have been for the past four years. Thanks to cancelled classes that the college did not want to pay for, I have met people who have been in the same program for eight years. You could be a lawyer by then. You could be a lot of things by then.
A little description of the environment. There were escalators to get from one floor to the other, but only one out of six worked at any given time. There is a line of dirt that circumnavigates each classroom, which students claim is the the reminents of afro-spray. There are no wipe-off boards, only chalk boards. There is never any chalk available to the teachers, so they are often forced to hide it in various parts of the room. The amount of gum under the desk is so large, that one cannot discern if there once was wood in its place. The artwork and profanity etched into every desk should be it's own "student works" display in the art department. The "student life" bulletin board should be a place for club meetings and student government announcements, but is instead a place for "Missing persons" notices and "Pregnant and don't know where to turn?" flyers. The bathrooms might be cleaned once a week, but usually are a place for people to make toilet paper confetti and steal the locks off the stall doors. What the hell are you doing with bathroom stall locks anyway?
Friends, I wish I was exaggerating. You just can't make this stuff up.
So, yes. I should be doing cartwheels. I should be whistling to little blue birds and baby deer as they help me clean my apartment. But when the transcript department finally answers my calls after three years of my attempted contact, and tells me I need to stay in this 11th circle of hell for another year because they only want to give me and English credit for Acting 101 (English=Acting, you learn something everyday!), then I start to lose it. The I want to start exchanging my cartwheels for roundhouse kicks, and my whistles for some venison. And I'm a vegetarian.
Clean it up :)
Let it go :(
Eat right :/
Move more :/
Act Energetic :(
"it-it- the f - it -flam - flames. Flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl- heaving breaths. Heaving breaths... Heathing..."~Mrs. White "Clue"
Photo by http://boofsbookshelf.com/2010/04/13/boofs-whisperings-im-freaking-out/
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