Be you!...except cooler...and with better posture

So, I'm gonna put this little section on Passions to rest. Well, not to rest exactly. More like in an open file in my mini-filing cabinet which I'm pretty sure is still full of mismatching socks. Here's what we have learned in our little adventure in Passion-land, which coincidentally is the name of an adult book store on South Street.

1. Novel writing sucks.
2. As it turns out, failing? Not so fun.
3. Choices are bad. They are bad, they are toxic, and they cause decision fatigue. If I ever find Eve, I'm gonna show her the back of my hand for biting into that apple.
4. Your eye does not want to be covered in sunscreen.
5. You're not missing out on anything.


You may read this and say, "Well, aren't we a Negative Nancy today?" And I'd say "No, because Negative Nancy was a superhero who taught us about integers in fourth grade math." Then, I'd tell you that my chapter on Passion hasn't been a total bust. I actually learned a couple things about myself. One thing I learned is that I don't want a desk job. Over the past couple of months I have thought about accepting my fate as a future cubicle-occupant. I really thought it would make my life easier. Then I realized, I'm not Fletcher. I'm Dick Tracy, goddamnit! Yet, somehow this month has redirected me towards my goal of doing something in performance/sign language/teaching. This may sound vague to you, but it is a significant narrowing down for me.

I also discovered a new passion. Well, it's more of a rediscovered passion that I've secretly loved all along. And no, it's not Settlers of Catan or any other nerd board games. It's simply this: comedy.

My sister very smartly gave me both "Bossypants" and "Is Everyone Hanging out without Me." Both written by famous women in comedy. Because of their stories, I had a rush of memories of watching Friday night stand up with my brother, performing improv scenes so good you have no idea how you did it, and sitting around the table and listening to an entire Jerry Seinfeld CD in Vermont. I had completely forgotten how much I love comedy. How long has it been since I've seen a good stand-up show? How many times do I start a sentence with, "There's this one bit that goes like this..." and then repeat a hysterical joke in a completely dorky and unfunny way? Of course! Comedy.

This next section is gonna be about Self-Esteem, so get ready for some delightfully feminist "I am woman, hear me roar"s, sprinkled with the occasional whimsical, "Ain't I the bees-knees!" See below for three new and exciting goals.

Simplicity :(
Energy :(
Mindfulness :(
Passion :/
Be healthy :/
Look at the big picture :(
Affirmations :(

Thankfuls:

16. My beautiful niece Alexandra. I've definitely become one of those aunts whose like, "This baby's the prettiest! All others bow to her!"

17. Bizzaro's Pizza in Melbourne. Twice in one weekend is definitely not excessive.

18. Trashy reality television. Is there anything more relaxing two sexually charged twenty something attempt to pummel each other with a giant fish?

19. A steady paycheck. This may seem commonplace, but for someone who has tried to save up for Christmas presents on a fluctuating income, it rocks.