It's still a reusable bag, even if I never reuse it.

Do you get double the bad karma if you FINALLY bring your recycled bag to the supermarket, but forget to tell the cashier so he puts your groceries in a plastic bag, which you then have to carry home IN your reusable bag because you don't have a free hand?

Also, I'm on the second to last chapter of The Happiness Project and Rubin does a whole section on "Pollyanna Week"! Not that I thought my idea was entirely original; I just don't want to get sued.

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm no stranger to the energy game. I read Prevention magazine. I watch Dr. Oz at the gym. I might be 50 years old. Still, I know certain rules.

1. Get enough sleep--well, duh.
2. Eat regularly--not a problem, my friend. There are snacks to be had, you just have to know which office to wander nonchalantly into to find them.
3. Drink water--especially if you drink coffee. Coffee has caffeine, which can perk you up, but if you don't drink enough water it will dehydrate you and slow you down. Insert the "The more you know" rainbow star here.
4. Exercise--I'm pretty good about running in the morning. Except when it's cold. Or raining. Or looks like it might rain. Or if I reach the snooze bar in time...

Still, I thought I should research some more strategies. Here are some that I found on the world's most accurate and reliable source--the internet.

1. Change your socks in the middle of the day--Really? I can only sometimes get ONE pair of socks on, and you expect me to remember another? Highly unlikely.

2. Splash some water on your face--Listen, I don't get my make-up done until half-way through my morning, so I'm sure as hell not gonna mess it up an hour later.

3. Avoid the mid-day cocktail--Wait, ya'll are drinking in the middle of the day and didn't tell me??

So, clearly, not all energy tips are plausible for all people. Still, day two of taking the stairs has gone relatively well. To save time, I've allowed myself to take the elevator down (since you don't do a lot of working moving down stairs) and walking back up. Some of my research did make me feel better about my energy levels, though. I read that we as humans are usually wired to feel a little groggy in the morning, then get productive around lunch time, then need a nap in the afternoon, then get a surge of energy in the evening , and then get tired again in the evening. This is way some countries take a "siesta" in the afternoon, and return to work in the early evening, when they can be more productive. The rest of us just have to nap in a back hallway with our head propped up on a folded pipe-and-drape during our lunch break (ah, apprentice years)

The point is, listen to your body. I get hungry at 11 am and 3 pm, so I split my lunch in half and eat them at these times. I am more productive in the morning, so I sometimes wake up early to finish homework. I am exhausted by 2:30 pm so I sometimes skip my run and watch a back episode of America's Next Top Model. Just kidding. It's Say Yes to the Dress.

Clean it up :/
Do it right :)
Let it go :/
Move more :/
Eat right :)
Act energetic :/

"The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be”~ Marcel Pagnol

Photo by http://www.whattovisitinmalaga.com/siesta-live-longer/

The song is not called "Love in a Broken Down Escalator"

When I finish up my degree, I'm going to find a special type of hypnosis that helps me to remember Sign Language, but completely erases the trauma I experience as a result of community college. Where else would you hear that a student needs to take a semester off because she was head-butted? Where else would you see an afro-spray line on the classroom wall marking past students' heights? Where else would their be more writing on the desks in profanity, than on the blackboard?

In an effort to "move more", I chose to make a resolution: No using the elevator at work. This may sound like a no-brainer, but I work in what is literally called "The Tower". I go from the fourth floor to the first floor and in between about ten times each day. Still doesn't sound like a big deal? Well, I congratulate you on being less lazy than I am. It's a harder habit to break than I thought, especially towards the end of the day, when I'm so tired I want someone to wheel me out of the building on a dolly. In fact, several times, I walked into the elevator, not paying attention, and then sighed as I stomped back towards the staircase. Still, I made it through one full day. It wasn't so bad, though I don't think I necessarily feel like I have more energy. Maybe it takes some getting used to. Add the run I had this morning, and the fact that I'm too broke to buy a subway token and thus will be walking EVERYWHERE until tomorrow, and I'd say I sufficiently fulfilled the "Move more" requirement.

The problem with a Happiness Project, is that no one else is doing it with you. You can be so proud that you've tackled nagging tasks like writing emails or returning gifts or hemming skirts (Damn, I still have to hem that skirt tonight..), but that doesn't mean the universe is gonna give you a cosmic pat on the back. More often than not, the person will not reply to your email, the store will be closed, and the hem will fall out the next day. It takes A LOT of energy to be vigilant in your attitude-- to smile and say that it's all going to be fine, and not fall to your knees yelling "KAHN!"

Clean it up :(
Do it right :(
Let it go :(
Move more :)
Eat better :)
Act energetic :(

"'Not knowing is part of the fun.' Was that the motto of your community college?"~Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory

photo by http://www.rebeccahjamison.com/2011/05/sleep-best-mothers-day-gift.html

Alligator Spotting at 3 AM

Reader, I have a confession. I have grown bored. As I read Rubin's Happiness Project, I am finding myself less inspired. Because this is my own personal project, I called a meeting of me, myself, and I, where it was decreed that I could do whatever makes me happiest in my happiness project. Ergo, I am ending Simplicity month early in my eagerness to move on to another focus: Energy.

First let's review what we learned in our time focusing on Simplicity

1. No one is thinking about you as much as you think they are.
2. Follow your passion, no matter what people think.
3. Cleaning out your closet is incredibly satisfying.
4. Take your time while licking envelopes.
5. Tap dance is difficult.
6. Take time to talk to people.
7. Bring an extra pair of shoes.
8. Be glad.
9. Less choices, more decisions.
10. Watch more Boy Meets World.

One additional thing that I learned was emphasized in Gretchen Rubin's book. "Happiness does not always make you happy," she says. Sometimes, in concentrating on happiness throughout the day, you end up seeing all of the ways you fail to be happy. You become acutely aware of the purse-lipped looks of disapproval you give people, and the way you feel like drawing frowny-faces on forms that were incorrectly filled out and then slapping them on the person's desk like a school marm. Discouraging as this awareness can be, at least I am aware of it now. I notice when I am not compartmentalizing, or not being grateful, and isn't that the very root of change?

In the spirit of change, my next segment will be on Energy. I will not drop my goals from Simplicity, but add to them. I notice that I am significantly more awesome person when I have energy. I am more fun, wittier, and I get a whole bundle more done throughout the day. We all complain about energy. Somehow, when we join the workforce, our ability to pull all-nighters, take an exam, and then party on a boat until 5 am dwindles(I'm sorry, was that not your college experience?). How do we get our energy back when our lives are oh so busy and taxing? I plan to focus on three things this segment.

Eating better
Moving more
Acting energetic

I'll elaborate more tomorrow, but let's look at my ratings for today

Clean it up :(
Do it right :)
Let it go :)
Eating better :/
Moving More :)
Acting energetic :)

"What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy"~Voltaire

photo by http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs41/f/2009/048/6/5/Im_on_a_boat___Lonely_Island_by_bradjolly.jpg

What would Mr. Feeny do?

You know you are broke when you are planning to save money by wrapping a gift in magazine pages, and then you realize you can't afford to by a magazine.

In The Happiness Project, Rubin discusses the important of pursuing your passion. I see a lot of people struggle with finding their passion. Many often work on something they feel they should be passionate about. They should listen to more NPR, read more biographies, or play online poker. Whether it's what their friends do or what society thinks they should do, they pick something, that in the end doesn't bring them happiness. To find and pursue your passion, you must be truly honest with yourself as to what you like.

For example, for a while, I made a rule to turn off the TV during breakfast. I thought it would help me appreciate the quiet and my mixture of slow-cook oatmeal and peanut butter (Remember what I said about the addiction? I wasn't kidding). The truth is, my favorite part of the morning is having Boy Meets World on in the background. I mean, if you need a small jolt of happiness, I highly recommend watching the episode where Tapanga takes the bus from Pittsburgh to see Cory in Philadelphia. Or the one where Eric stalks Tapanga the entire episode and ends up in the couch cushions. Or the one where Sean joins the mob to make money for Christmas presents. Ok, even I know that one is a little far-fetched, but still, it is the perfect way to start my day.

Rubin says that to find your passions, you should look at what you liked when you were 10 years old, because you probably still like them now. The problem is, that people are not willing to admit to liking the same thing they liked when they were 10. Those novels I wrote began to look silly, and I hid the cartoons I used to draw under piles of homework, but why? I love to write, and I love to draw, but because I'm not the best at it I hid my passions away or dismiss them.

This week, I plan to start writing a new children's show I've been thinking of, sing show-tunes at the top of my lungs, and even draw a picture or two. Because one of my "truths of adulthood" as Rubin calls them, is "No one is thinking about you as much as you think they're thinking about you." So, let it go! And watch Boy Meets World. You can learn a lot from Boy Meets World.

Clean it up :/
Do it right :(
Let it go :)

"I'm a damsel, but not the distressed kind, one who's totally calm and in complete control of her own destiny."-Topanga. Boy Meets World

photo by http://boymeetsworld.wikia.com/wiki/William_Daniels

DON'T go home and kick the dog

The rule for women in the workplace is "Never let them see you cry." Personally, I'm curious as to the rules about hiding under your desk or devouring half of the donuts in the second floor office.

I am just the worst at compartmentalizing. I have trouble remembering things, so I keep a to-do list running in my head at all times. This often means that when I'm at work, I'm running through things I need to do for school, and when I'm at school, I'm thinking about the work day, and when I'm at home I'm thinking of buying a pint of Ben & Jerry's to have for dinner. Yeah, like you haven't done that at least once...

Often times this causes me to be distracted and not particularly pleasant. In seeing a group of friends one evening, I found myself unable to make my usual jokes and dreamed of the moment my head would hit the pillow. So, how do you "let it go". How do shed the daily annoyances and stresses and be your usual happy go-lucky self when you're done for the day?

First of all, we love to think that multitasking is a more productive way to get things done, but we're wrong. It's the "I can totally have 12 tabs open on my computer" theory. Studies show that it causes people to be less efficient and more stressed than when we focus on one thing at a time. Basically, I should focus on work at work, school at school, and Pinterest at...well, anytime in between.

Secondly, writing things down has always been an excellent way of letting things go. Creating a physical and thorough to-do list means I don't have to keep it up in my over-capacity brain. It is said that venting doesn't always make you feel better. People think that talking about their bad day will help release stress, but many times it causes you to refocus on it. That being said, I have found that keeping a journal helps me get all the crazy out, and let's me think a little more clearly.

In theatre we always say "Check you baggage at the door," which means, don't let your outside life affect your work in rehearsal. So, maybe if I think of each thing in my life as a different rehearsal, I can check my desire to roll my eyes at the waitress or yell at the cab driver that they HAVE to take my credit card, because IT's the LAW.

When that fails, never underestimate the healing effects of a brief but complete nervous breakdown.

Clean it up :/
Do it right :/
Let it go :)

"Again, don't waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions. Go "Over! Under! Through!" and opinions will change organically when you're the boss. Or they won't. Who cares?

Do your thing and don't care if they like it."~Tina Fey. Bossypants

photo by http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2257863/?forumpage=3

Papercuts on your tongue or Why I hate Wednesday

Some days you just wake up feeling less than glad. It's hard to look at the shampoo that exploded in your back-pack and think "I'm glad that it's not a jar of tomato sauce" or to forget your dinner at home and think "I'm glad I get to eat this low-carb cardboard proetin bar." I call those days Wednesdays, because for me, they are the WORST.

In my quest to keep things simple this month, I have really strived to "let things go." I've stopped checking audition pages for shows that I could never possibly juggle with my schedule, and I've stopped trying to squeeze in every little party or social event that pops up. It's not easy, because like everyone else, I like to believe I can do it all. What? You mean I'm NOT like Hermione in Harry Potter with her little hour glass that lets her be everywhere at once? Oh, don't worry friends. There are plenty more HP references where that came from.

People often think that the more choices there are, the better. I call this the breakfast cereal policy. Why do we need an entire aisle in our grocery store dedicated to cereal? Don't get me wrong, I love cereal so much that I can't keep in the house or I would eat it for three meals a day. But why do we need 20 different types of Cheerios? Studies show that having too many choices actually makes people more anxious and frustrated than having just a few choices. The reason it is often difficult to make a choice is that you know that while you are gaining one thing, you are also leaving other things behind. If you pick on color crayon out of a box, you are letting go of all your other options. That's why it's easier to pick a color out of a box of 10, rather than a box of 52. Pick one out of the first, you're only leaving nine behind. Pick one out of the latter, you are leaving a whopping 51 crayons that you cannot use.

The point of this ever mature and intellectual Crayola hypothetical, is that I need to stick by my philosophy of having less choices and more decisions. It's fine to have two or three events to choose from, but I should limit it to that. The other important thing is that once you have made the decision, let it go. Often people don't even enjoy their choice, because they are wondering about "what might have been," like the man who doesn't taste his soup, because he's wondering if he should've ordered the salad. It's important to think about your decision, make your decision, then stick with your decision.

Oh, and did I mention I got a papercut on my tongue from licking envelopes today? It hurts about as much as you would imagine.

Clean it up :(
Do it right :(
Let it go :(



"Did you ever have to make up your mind? You pick up on one and leave the other one behind It's not often easy and not often kind, Did you ever have to make up your mind?"

Read more: LOVIN SPOONFUL - DID YOU EVER HAVE TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/did-you-ever-have-to-make-up-your-mind-lyrics-lovin-spoonful.html#ixzz26wzso7Kn
Copied from MetroLyrics.com

photo from http://profilespr.wordpress.com/2012/08/13/what-your-cereal-says-about-you/

The Glad Game

Pollyanna was one of my favorite movies in junior high. First of all, I celebrated Halley Mills entire catalog of work--from the original Parent Trap to her later years on Saved by the Bell: The Early Years (Yes, that's her as Miss Bliss. Such an apporpriate name for the woman who once played Pollyanna, the enternal optimist). I also loved the upbeat, whimsical tone of the movie. It was like a musical without the music.

At a certain point in the movie, Pollyanna makes everyone play "The Glad Game", saying that there is always something to be glad about. In reading The Happiness ProjectI have been thinking a lot about gratitude lately. It seems that I, like many others, am wired to take things for granted. Sure, we all know we are lucky to have food, shelter, jobs, and love, but do we actually FEEL grateful? Compared to some of the third-world countries on this here earth, we have literally everything to the point of excess. Yet, we go through are days feeling like we don't have enough. Shouldn't we be starting the day saying "HOLY COW! LOOK AT ALL MY STUFF!"

Studies show, and I think it is true, that people seem to be made happier by getting than having. I keenly remember the surge of joy I felt when I got my black VW Bug. "Bruiser" (as I named her) and I had some great times together that I remember with fondness now, but at the time seemed commonplace. I got used to having a car, and it became a sort of baseline. Now that I live in the city and have sold the car, I miss it like an old friend.

You might feel the same way about your Iphone. Remember when it came out? Remember how excited you were when you got it? Remember how you couldn't talk to your friends for like, four hours, until you'd played with all the features? Now, it just seems like something you have. Sure, you would be upset if you lost or broke it, but I doubt you wake up every morning, see it on your bureau and exclaim, "OH SNAP! I GOT AN IPHONE!"

How do we feel grateful for the things we have, right now, in the moment? I decided I would spend today playing Pollyanna's "Glad Game". Instead of letting my mind settle on things that were bothering me or negative, I would start every sentence in my head with "I'm glad that..." For example, when I was groggily getting out of bed for my morning run, I thought "I'm glad that I love to run and that I'm fit enought to do it." When the weather was overcast all day I thought, "I'm glad that it's not pouring or 100 degrees outside." When the wind blew up my dress on Walnut I thought, "I'm glad I'm wearing cute underwear."

Sounds corny, right? The wierd thing is, I think it kind of worked! It instantly took my mind of negative things, and redirected it towards the positive. It also helped me to remember not so good times (ie when I was unemployed or when I sprained my ankle and the busses were on strike and I couldn't afford a cab so I literally crutched everywhere. A mile-and-a-half on crutches everyday gives you kickass arm muscles, though). I instincively compared my situation to these times, and actually felt the negativity fade. I plan to use this trick for the rest of the month to instill gratitude in my everyday life. As Gretchen Rubin often says, sometimes you have to act the way you want to feel.

Clean it up :)
Do it right :(
Let it go :)

"Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world."-John Milton

photo by http://dollydilettante.blogspot.com/2007/10/all-about-pollyanna.html

Give them that first lady feeling

photo by http://www.firstladies.org/biographies/firstladies.aspx?biography=36

Yesterday, I read an interview with Michelle Obama in Women's Health. Her interview was pretty standard, but what I contemplated was the picture they showed of her, smiling and waving to a sea of people with her crazy Madonna arms. Now, don't worry, I'm not getting political, but I thought to myself, "Look how friendly she looks. I bet her day is 500 times more stressful than mine, and yet you'll never see her walk around glaring at strangers, copping an attitude with the tech support woman on the phone, or rolling her eyes when someone asks her for a simple favor." Given, I understand that she is in the public eye, and has been trained to be on camera 24-7. Still, it seems that she deals with a lot of pressure, and still manages to be pleasant. I call that grace.

So, today's goal was grace. Thinking of our present and former first ladies, and other people who are often associated with grace (Katherine Hepburn, Jackie O, Kate Middleton) I put on my favorite pencil skirt, new black flats, and put a little extra oomph into my make-up for the day. I brought the left- overs from my birthday cake to give out at work, and felt like a sassy character from Mad Men as I began my walk to the office.

I made it a block before those new black ballet flats went all Black Swan on me. They dug into the back of my heel, not just giving me blisters, but literally taking off part of my foot. By the time I got to the park, my strut had turned into a pathetic limp. "Grace", I thought as a hobbled into the building, balancing the cake in one hand. As I began my morning reports, I placed the shoes in my desk drawer and shut it on the heel to try to stretch it out.

I wonder if Michelle Obama ever works barefoot.

Clean it up :/
Do it right :(
Let it go :)

"The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse." Jackie Kennedy http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/j/jackie_kennedy_2.html#COfp3FSFJvtp4rih.99

CaTAPstrophy

photo from http://m.inmagine.com/image-rbvs0190136-Overweight-man-in-ballerina-tutu-smiling-and-dancing.html

Friday was supposed to be all about discovering what you personally find fun and going for it. Many times, we do things that are supposed to be "fun", only to realize that it's not really our cup of tea. I also don't like tea. For example, as an educated lady, former flutist, debutante, and supporter of the arts, it would stand to reason that I would enjoy lady-dates to the orchestra or to the museum of art. But I don't. I find both of those things terribly, terribly dull. It's not that I don't appreciate them. I recognize both art forms as incredible and important. That doesn't stop be from glancing at my watch (cell phone, no one wears watches anymore) every two minutes, praying that the torture will end.

This is why I decided to take a tap dance class yesterday. THAT is my idea of fun. Now, I haven't tapped since college and was none to good at it then. Still, the class was "open-level," which meant that even less capable students, such as myself, could attend. What I learned was that just because I COULD attend, doesn't mean I should attend. It went a little something like this.

Instructor: "Let's start by practing some shuffles."

Awesome. Totally nailed it. Maybe this won't be so bad.

Instructor: "And now some paddles."

Ok. Yeah, I remember what those are. Ok, I got this.

Instructor: "Now for the combination. Stomp. Toe...Toe Toe. FlapheelheelheelheelheelStepballchangestepballchangetoeheeltoeheeltoeheel"

Oh...ok...um, how many heels was that--

Instructor: "Now for the Cincinatti"

Could we maybe start with a less prestigious city? Columbus? Or Akron, perhaps?

Instructor: "Now, backspankheelheelshuffleheelheeltoeheeltoeheeltoheelstomp"

Insert a toy monkey banging cymbals together where my brain should be

The thing about dancers is that they will never laugh at you. The nice ones will pity you, and the not-so-nice ones won't make eye contact with you. So, instead of exploring new, fun things, today's lesson is to laugh at yourself. And loudly. Because sometimes, no one else will.

clean it up :/
do it right :(
let it go :(

"I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy." ~Mitch Hedberg. http://www.brainyquote.com

People, Peanut Butter, and other Pleasures

I'm addicted to peanut butter. Usually, when I say this, people laugh and say, "Oh, yeah. Me too!" Really? You think so? Do you have to limit yourself to buying one mini jar a week? Have you considered it a serious trial when you give it up for lent? Have you come home late one night and woken up to find your laptop covered in fingerprints and have to run to the store to replace your roommate's jar of peanut butter which is mysteriously half-empty (or half-full. Damn you, optimists)? If the answer is no, then you are not addicted to peanut butter.

This little vice is why I was so excited when one of the girls in subscriptions gave me a ginger snap with peanut butter and pumpkin butter on top today(say what you want, it was a wonderful carnival of flavors in my mouth). It wasn't just the food though. Food can be a source of comfort and happiness, but what I found today was even better. People.

I spend my day with my back to the door staring at a computer, a wall, and a corner--much like a child you've put in time-out. I'm half sure that people sneak into my office and make faces behind my back, because I can't see and well, frankly, that's what I would do given the opportunity. Still, Monday through Wednesday I don't see many people unless they need something from me, in which case I'm usually so busy that I have a snarl and a wide-eyed look that tells people, "She might have rabies."

Thursday, however, is when I hand out the paychecks, and everyone likes you when you are giving money. I realized that I feel a surge of positive energy on Thursdays, because it means I get to see people. For a brief moment, I get to overhear office gossip, or comment on someone's outfit, or joke with the subscriptions team over a gingersnap. These pockets of socialization are brief, but I noticed while they were happening that the pit in my stomach that is usually there disappeared. Gretchen Rubin talks about the importance of socialization in The Happiness Project. Even introverts are happier with human contact, she says. I've always thought this to be true, but never noticed the effects as clearly as the fact that when I returned to my office after handing out the checks, I had more energy, less anxiety, and an honest to goodness smile on my face.

Now, I can't ask to move my desk down to the second floor where there are more people to talk to, and I can't just leave my office for an hour to gab with the gals. However, maybe I can relax a little more and make an effort to be friendly to people, that way I can get that burst of energy that comes from laughing over a conversation about the origin of graham crackers (look it up. you may be surprised). Talking to people helps brighten your day. Especially if they have snacks.

Clean it up :)
Do it right :)
Let it go :/

“If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.”~Bill Watterson

Photo from http://askville.amazon.com/Peanut-butter-peanut/AnswerViewer.do?requestId=63675921

No cause for alarm

Another reason I'm a freak of nature is that I'm a morning person. I am most alert and productive when I first wake up, and it's when I like to exercise best. In college, I would actually wake up 2 hours early to get my reading for tech theatre done, which is almost as ridiculous as doing the reading for tech theatre in the first place. If you are wondering, the girl who gets a grade of 105 in Intro to Tech is not the most popular freshman on campus.

That being said, I do NOT enjoying the fire alarm going off in my building an hour and a half before I am supposed to be awake. Much as I love meeting my neighbors and their pets in their pajamas (the neighbors' pajamas, not the pets. Except that poodle in the satin teddy...), waiting for firemen at the crack of dawn is not my idea of a "good morning."

Today seemed to be a great day to test out my third strategy for the month of September: "Let it go." I find that as I have gotten older, my mind wanders towards negative thoughts, memories, and opinions of myself. I did a test today where I attempted to tally every negative thought I experienced. The total by 3:00 was 25, and I assure you it has only risen since I walked into the hallway of my community college. 25 bad thoughts! I didn't tally my good thoughts, but I am sure they were few and far between. Combatting these negative feelings and thoughts takes effort. In ASL/English Interpreting training, we learn that an important skill is positive self-talk. When those bad feelings start to creep into your work, it's important to bring out your mental Susy McSunshine to cheerlead you back towards positivity. I made a solid effort at it today, but I have to say, it is hard work. Your thoughts are often instinctive and out of your control, so knocking them down takes an acute awareness of your thoughts and the willingness to change them around.

Another mantra we have in interpreting is "I can't control another person's action, but I can control my reaction to it." Ever thought you had an idea that was just spectacular? Or an outfit that you thought you looked great in? Or a project you are really excited about? What happens when someone laughs at it, or doubts you, or suggests that you change into something with vertical stripes? That gut feeling, that tiny flame inside of you that inspired you to take action in the first place gets squished. It leaves you feeling disappointed, stupid, or pudgy.

That's why the hardest, and possibly most important strategy of September is "Let it go." Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and it wouldn't be fair to tell everyone to just keep their mouths shut. It's important to realize that it's just that. It's an opinion, not a fact. Let it go.

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid." ~Albert Einstein

photo by verydemotivational.com

Going Postal

One thing that makes me a freak of nature is the fact that I don't really mind Mondays. I'm well rested from the week, I wake-up on time, and I hit the ground running at work, tackling every problem that comes in my way.

But then comes Tuesday. And Tuesday is the day that I realize I actually have to DO this week. Expending all my go-getterness and my sunny disposition on Monday, Tuesday usually finds me as a homosapien version of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh.

Part of my "clean it up" and "do it right" initiatives involves tackling nagging tasks that I have been putting off. For example, the shoes I have been meaning to return. Since Christmas. I proudly brought the shoes to work, packaged them, and was ready to mail them to the company, when I saw that I need the invoice number and the order number. I didn't have either of those. Well, I'll mail it anyway! But the voice in my head said, "Do it right."

Too often I complicate my own life by not doing things right the first time. Take, for example, the time last week where I was too lazy to make a grocery list. I walked home from the store only to realize I forgot bread, which I hear is a key ingredient in the sandwhiches I was planning to make that evening. I decided I would walk to the Italian market and get some bread. There was no bread. At an Italian market. How can you not have bread? Italians live on carbs! Delicious, delicious carbs. Regardless, I wandered for about an hour before having to walk back to the exact same grocery store I had visited that afternoon.

Trying to remember this lesson, I trudged back from lunch with my shoes, unable to mail them. I was sulking, when I few minutes later, I found the receipt with all the information I needed! I took this as a sign that the universe was happy with my "do it right" plan and prepared to send it after work.

Raise your hand if you love going to the Philadelphia post office! Anybody? Bueller?

As I stared at the line of 15 people or so I thought, "Surely I can cram this in a mailbox outside." But there was that voice again, "Take your time. Do it right." I stood on line for twenty minutes and when finally the postwoman said, "You need to take this to UPS," I'm pretty proud to say that I kept a smile on my face, even if my eyes said, "Just kill me, will you?"

All that aside, walking out of the UPS store, it was as if a weight had been lifted off my chest. Mostly, because I wasn't carrying that heavy box anymore. But partly, because I could cross that off my nagging errand list, and that I had done everything to the best of my ability. Of course, if it gets sent back to me, I'm sending them a spring-loaded pie.

Days like this test my resolve. How I would love to go back to my sneering, sour self. Randy Pausch, author of The Last Lecture, was a big proponent of solving the root of your problems, not the symptoms of them (ie Getting a job to solve the stress of your financial problems, rather than doing yoga). However, on days like this, sometimes the only advice I can give is that you buy yourself a pumpkin spice latte, sit in the park, and read Tina Fey's Bossypants for 10 minutes before you go back to work.

"You all are the cause of my jawline acne!"~Liz Lemon, 30 Rock

Clean it up :)
Do it right :/
Let it go :(

Photo from http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheEeyore

Simple September

First, let me say that anyone who thinks that tootsie rolls are the appropriate treat to put in their office candy bowl is sorely mistaken. How do you think people feel when they wait for you to leave your office, sneak in hoping for a mini Reese's cup, and find themselves staring at a wax-tasting pile of disappointment. Tsk, I say, tsk.

Of course, finding a Ghirardelli chocolate wrapper in your sheets while your doing laundry doesn't help you seem LESS of a sad sack. Sugar addictions aside, I've decided that September should be all about simplicity. To achieve this, I have come up with three goals. I'm sure you're dying to know what they are.

1.Clean it up.
2. Do it right.
3. Let it go.

After two days of work, I completed cleaning my room. This doesn't sound interesting or brave to you, does it? You haven't seen my room. Here's the thing: I am NEVER home. Like most of this great country, I am run run running most of the day and night. Ergo, my window ledge had become a mountain trail of old interpreting papers, my file cabinet was more of a rectangular box full or random sheet music, and my bed? Well, my bed was my closet. Clothes were EVERYWHERE. "How did you sleep?" You ask. Remember that puppet that lived in the junkyard in Labrynth? That was me. Just call my name, and I'll emerge from the ratty robes and laundry that is no longer clean nor dirty, just is, and I awake fresh as a daisy.

Needless to say, it was a chore. Still, it feels awesome, and I smile everytime I walk in my room. I can actually see the awful dark green carpet. The coffee mug rings can no longer tell you the age of my dressers. And there's one 2ft by 2ft spot in my closet that has NOTHING in it. It's a glorious feeling.

I am going to continue with my "clean bed, clean head" theory by picking up after myself as soon as I notice the mess. In short, "Do it right."

I'll be scoring myself everyday. For cleaning it up? Today gets any ever mature smiley emoticon.

:)

Do it right? Not so great. Will elaborate later.

:(

Let it go? Not bad! I didn't let the stress of the workday effect my home life (A big problemo of mine) We'll give it a not-so-sure.

:/

"Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely."~P.J. O'Rourke.

Photo from http://myrentalpad.com/2010/03/a-green-clean/

Did I leave the oven on?

Photo by Yasu & Junko

"Why is the stand-up fan on the table?" said my roommate as she walked into our hotel room at a theatre conference.

"The window won't lock," I said, not looking up from my text message.

"And this is supposed to help?"

"Well, yeah, if anyone tries to crawl in the window they'll probably knock over the fan and we'll hear it and wake up."

"Ok, but why is there an empty beer can balanced on top of the ice bucket?"

I sighed.

"Because, if they don't knock over the fan, they'll probably knock over the empty beer can and THAT will definitely make a noise and wake us up."

"What will we do when we wake up?"

"Oh, I've unlocked the bathroom window so we can crawl out."

Does this sound like you? Then you, may too be a nervous wreck. I've tried to explain it to people before. People are constantly saying, "Don't worry." HA! Oh, if were that simple.

Here's an example to help you understand my particular brand of anxiety. Ever leave the house on the way to work, and the feeling creeps up on you; Did I leave the oven on? or Did I forget to lock the back door? Now, most people take one of two actions: they dismiss it or they turn around to double check. My life, however, is like there is an oven on ALL THE TIME. Somewhere out in this vast universe, there is an oven on, and I can't turn it off, and I can't dismiss it.

I wasn't always like this. As a child, I jumped off of every tall structure I could find to see if I could fly (side note: I could not). I was fearless, and often careless, but I was never worried, stress, or angry for no reason. I know this probably seems obvious, because most children are like that, but wouldn't it be a wonderful state to return too?

I'm not suggesting that I return to being childish or dangerous. I learned my lessons from childhood: don't walk around in bare feet, don't fall asleep with the toaster on, don't run from the bull, etc. etc. etc. But, I have, at certain points in my life, felt childlike, carefree, and above all, calm.

Calm. I think it's a four letter word because it's so damn difficult to achieve. Yet, that is the goal of this project. To get back to calm.

Inspired by The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, I'll be attempting to make small changes in my life, with a new goal every month, If you've ever been on a diet (and if you haven't, I hate you), you know that they suggest that you don't start on a Monday or on the first of the month, because it is a signal that this is a temporary change, not a life change. That is why I am starting on Sunday on the 9th of September. That, and because if I don't start right away, I probably won't start at all. The point of the project, will be to return to a state of calm, and dare I say happiness?

Don't misunderstand me, I am not depressed or have trouble getting out of the bed in the morning or anything like that. I consider depression and chronic anxiety as serious problems that should be handled individually and with medical professionals.
I'm just trying to stop biting my nails, snapping at my boyfriend, and blaming the telemarketer on the other line for all of my life problems.

Stay tuned for daily updates, success charts, and possible tracings of my hand that I turned into a turkey when I don't have anything to say.

For now, let's all just chill out.

"I don't need to work out. My anxiety acts as aerobics"~Sid Waterman in Scoop